its pain..

actually aku xtau nak mula dr mana, xtau nak bgtau semua neh salah sape.. hurmm I just can tell u tht its hard to keep ur smile when ur doin every single thgs alone, having ur meals alone, alone n alone with surrounded people who life happily with their prtners.. ..

Im utilized my Saturday with kind of activities yg ngarut2.. as bcoz im don’t wt my sadness fulfill heart, my weekends.. end of day t aku rebel sendiri… I want to cry, want to shout, want to let people knw how hurt am I, how miserable am i.. ITS REALLY PAIN WHERN UR ALONE.. hurmm ape nak bt suka xsuka kena suka juga la ngadap benda2 neh semu..

pgi2 lagi aku da kuar meeting with one manager of our travel agents.. having our bfst, discussion, gossiping around…settle all the thgs aku trus cabut g dentist, g service gigi aku…waaaa amik ko RM210 aku kena settle.. followings by aku trus g bt acupuncture treatment.. hurmm xpe ar bkn selalu nak servise bdn.. keje mcm owg giler.. duit byk2 bt ape?? Aku trus strait away g angsana, g makan la beb lapo neh.. masuk pizza hut, telan la benda2 yg aku bole telan kat situ.. I though nak trus balik umah jer.. laaa pjg lagi kaki aku trus jengah jusco tebrau.. pusing2..

otak aku tgh senteng, aku sendiri tgh kusut masai.. aku off hp n jst let my office line ajer yg on.. my intention just nak tau ade brp ramai org yg cr aku?? Aku brp ramai org yg hingat kat aku yg malang neh?? Especially aku tgu call from owg besor aku.. hurmm smp ptg, bila aku on hp aku.. there r no call, no sms.. hukhukhuk sian nyer aku.. hurmm then im realize I just nobody…

im utilized jusco cukup2, masuk padini, vinci, jusco, bodyshop, tah2 ape2 tah aku masuk… then kuar jer kedai sure aku bimbit beg plastic.. giler.. da senja br aku received call frm my owg besor aku.. we just chat around 8 minutes ajer n continues with “mlm t I tepong ea?”.. hurmm aku dok tunggu lama2 dr pg ckp cumer tuh ajer??? Evn do aku happy dia call tp hati aku nangis dia tau ker?? Dia tau ker how miserable im waiting his “hello”..

aku smbg pusing2 jusco lg.. mana nak pi?? Aku msuk game shop habiskan masa kat situ smp mata aku naik perit.. last2 aku balik gak umah.. tp kat umah plak mcm2 hal.. aku?? Diam ajer la bila tgk parents aku lompat2 with my bro.. aku ddk one corner, mkn diam2 smbil berulamkan bebelan my parents yg dok xhenti2 naggings…

aku da la kusut.. tambah la kusut.. aku da la tgh serabut.. tambah la serabut.. ape nak bt?? Diam2 jer laa.. nak ckp byk2, t slah ckp mgundang masalah.. its better to keep keep my mouth silently.. bg jer la senyuman byk2 kat org.. dah mmg nasib haku.. syg kat org yg aku xtau dia syg ker kat haku?? Aku pong xtau status aku neh.. kat tgh ker?? Kat tepi ker?? Kat tong sampah ker?? Aku ddk diam2 one corner duk usik anak budu ajer laa.. tunggu ajer la, untung sabt timbul, untung batu tenggelam..

"Happiness is kn0wing that s0mewhere there is s0me0ne wh0 0nly cares f0r y0u,

s0me0ne wh0 will pick y0u up when y0u fall,

s0me0ne wh0 0nly kn0ws y0u,

wh0 will h0ld y0u when y0u cry and embrace y0u when y0u smile,

Happiness is when y0u kn0w that pers0n is just f0r y0u..."

Note : haku swyg sgt kat owg besor aku tuh.. tp sbb situation skrg neh, aku xleh ckp ape2.. but its don't means tht aku xkisah.. aku kisah coz aku disakiti tanpa sedar.. I hv been neglected.. nampak sgt aku neh "bukan sape".. yer la "aku bukan sape2"..

missing u..

I miss all the hugs & kisses

the sms y0u've send each time, each minutes..

the affecti0n y0u've sh0wed, y0ur hand 0n my leg..

the l0ng c0nversati0n and the laughter..

the l0ve in y0ur eyes, while starring at me

y0ur l0ving smile, when talking ab0ut us..

cudding at night, h0lding each 0thers tight

n0t getting tired spending time with y0u..

but m0st 0f all i miss u..